Day 9 - Being Special

Sometimes, all I have to do is look at Luna (pictured) to be reminded of the inherent happiness and love in all of us. She can amuse herself like nobody's business... playing with balls and stuffed animals and when we leave to take out the garbage and walk back in the house, she is so excited to see us as if we have been gone for a month. 

Maybe this love makes us feel that specialness that we all desire.  Of course, feeling special comes from within, but this unmitigated show of love sure is a wonderful confirmation and reminder...

Day 8 - She's a Rainbow (Rolling Stones)

A few years ago, an exhibit of my black and white photography was coming down and I had no idea where I would store it.  We had a spare room so I decided to paint it light green and hang the photos in there. Soon after,
I decided that I wanted to paint our dining room "terra cotta" and with my husband's blessings, we did. Before I knew it, with my husband's help, I had painted every room in our house (except the second bathroom, which was already painted) a different color...terra cotta, purple, cranberry... and I felt like we really created our own home... making it colorful and cozy.  Here, these tulips looked so beautiful in front of the dining room wall... light coming in from the window... I couldn't have asked for a better back drop.

I think it's important to make our space our own, even if we rent it... it's still ours, temporarily and I guess when all is said and done, it's all temporary.

Day 7 - Speak No Evil

My father gave this gift of three monkeys  when I first got married.  I can't help but wonder if he was trying to tell me something.  I had just become a step-mom of three girls.  Most of the advice my father has given me I have implemented  and if not at the time he gave it to me, then, in retrospect.  But he has consistently given me this one piece of advice that I have grappled with for years and that is, that I should refrain from expressing myself and bite my tongue as often as I can.  I know he was coming from a place of love and caring, there is no doubt about that... I'm just not sure that I concur with this approach quite as much as him.  At a time when I am  re-learning the importance of being honest, with myself and others and expressing that in gentle ways, I find it difficult and almost painful to keep my "mouth shut".  Maybe it's a matter of trusting myself to express my feelings in ways that are not antagonistic or defensive...and I would like to think that I am open to hearing  expressions of others also, preferably in a non-attacking way.  Of course, this is a learned trait, that I practice as often as possible, sometimes better than others.

 I won't get into the dynamics of my experience of being a step-mom here...(that's a whole other blog) I will just say that it has been an amazingly delicate dance... one that I continue to learn, sometimes stepping on toes, and sometimes getting my toes stepped on.  Learning when to keep quiet and when to see, hear or speak....  maybe this family dynamic is really just a microcosm for everything else... and all relationships - always weighing the ramifications of speaking up. However, I am becoming more concerned with the ramifications of stifling myself and not expressing my feelings or truth at all.  I think it all comes down to intentions... and mine are always to have a relationship with more honesty and depth... though there have been times when I lost a friendship or even a family member because I expressed myself honestly, which is probably why it has taken me so long to speak up for myself again.  I've learned though, that sometimes it might take an uncomfortable communication to make things better... deeper and more loving.  I think I owe that to myself and to those I love.  It's not easy for me to confront myself and then be vulnerable with another... it never is, at least not for me... but I believe it is worth the discomfort and part of the process of growing a relationship-with myself... and with others. I think it simply comes down to self-trust and self-respect.  It bothers me that the word "confrontation" has acquired such negative vibes over the years... I think confrontation, when done in love, is crucial to intimacy.  In fact, I think it can actually save a relationship...actually, I 'know' that it can save a relationship.... because it has... mine.

Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.   Brian Tracy

Day 6 - part 2

Triton

Day 6 - Father's Day

We decided to try a new place to walk today and ventured to Marina Del Rey. Not exactly nature, but still a nice walk with reminders all around about what's important in life.

I believe all men are fathers...in one way or another. I am so grateful for my own father, who is celebrating on the East Coast. And I am grateful to celebrate with my husband, a father to 3 girls, 2 dogs and 1 cat.

Day 5 - For the Love of Dog!

I had the joy of going on a walk this morning with my youngest stepdaughter and dogs.  Usually, I  notice some nuances that I haven't seen before but today, she pointed out ones that I have never noticed.  One of these was this adorable dog looking through a fence that somebody so lovingly built so that  he/she could look out and see to the outside.   That's love.

Day 4 - Good for my Art & Soul

Yesterday I had the most wonderful day.  After dancing in my kitchen (see yesterday's post)...  I met with Jeanie Madsen, owner of the amazing Jeanie Madsen Gallery here in Santa Monica.  Every now and then you meet a kindred spirit and she is one of them. We went to Bergamot Station and perused some galleries and had lunch.  It was such a treat to take in other people's artwork and to hear what Jeanie thought from a gallery owner's perspective.  She would throw out ideas about certain pieces that blew me away... little nuances that would enhance a piece beautifully... not change it.  

It's so easy to get comfortable in my bubble and not venture out of it.  Yesterday, I was reminded of how crucial an ingredient it is, to get out and soak up the work of others and feed my art and soul.   I loved seeing Dan Shepherd's work at DNJ Gallery  along with Dale Johnson's work By The Sea.  All of the art, whether I liked it or not, was wonderful to see.  Don't shoot me for making yet another comparison to music but...  It's like listening to a lot of music and absorbing it all and then what comes out is a combination of all the different sounds that made an impact on me.  And another comparison for writing... the adage -if you want to be a good writer, than read voraciously.  It's this aspect that I miss most about formally studying with a professor... I used to love reading the articles assigned and going to exhibits and then writing about what I saw and how I interpreted it.

Just being in the galleries refueled my desires to have my own work exhibited in galleries and museums... I let the energy fill me and when it came time to have lunch at the amazing Bergamot Cafe I could hardly eat!

Yesterday was a wonderful gift and I consider myself extremely blessed to have shared it with such a beautiful and inspirational woman.  Today's image was actually taken in one of the galleries yesterday.